Hello Everyone,
I know you're wondering why I blog at such weird intervals of time. Don't worry, I wasn't off taking another vacation. I just came to a conclusion that I want to blog only if I have a lesson of life to share. I'm not going to write only for the sake of writing or in order to keep my blog alive. It'll live as long as it has too.
I learnt a very important lesson of life last night. I learnt several to be honest. My college participated in the 'Youth Festival'. I don't know the reasons but we didn't win a lot this time. I'm sure it wasn't because of lack of effort or because we didn't perform well.
We were extremely disappointed.
I was extremely disappointed. I participated in an event, and everyone thought I had a fairly decent chance at winning. But I didn't.
At the valedictory, there were a lot of my fellow Xavierites who had participated and several who had come to support us. I was sitting on a chair surrounded by all of them because I was extremely anxious and didn't have the strength to stand. When the result of my event was being announced I had an anxiety attack. By the time the first two winners were announced, the anxiety began growing quicker than a cancerous cell and spread all over. There was just one name left to be announced. I went numb....... Turned out I didn't win after all. My knee stopped shaking as the realization sunk in. There was pin drop silence from my surroundings as all the Xavierites realized that their fellow Xavierite had lost.
The silence lasted all of five seconds. They burst into a loud cheer and started cheering for me. Even as I'm writing this I'm fighting back tears because I'm engulfed by an emotion I can't put into words.
They were cheering and congratulating me and telling me that in their eyes I was a true winner. I sat still for all of five minutes and let the feeling sink. I got up and found my best friend and hugged him tightly. We didn't say anything for we knew it wouldn't make a difference because he knew exactly how I was feeling and how vigorously my mind was churning pessimistic and melancholic thoughts.
Our college kept losing. Out of nineteen events that we participated in, we won only seven. It was a terrible night for us, for this had never happened in the history of Xaviers. But it didn't break our spirit. We kept cheering and celebrating despite the fact that we were feeling miserable on the inside. We had to be strong for everyone. There were several third and fifth year Xavierites who were miserable as it was their last 'Youth Fest'. Despite all of this,we followed a tradition and went back to college and celebrated with our Father Principal and other Fathers. It wasn't the usual spirit, but we tried to keep it as enthusiastic as we could. We went to Havmor for ice-cream following yet another Xavier's tradition.
This was my first 'Youth Fest'. I don't really know my way around it yet or know it's value. But I realized that what Xavierites value more than winning is each other. Even in the face of defeat we kept our spirits up. I'm sure we were extremely upset with the unfairness of it all, but we took a much higher road. People who lose aren't treated the way I and every other participant representing our college was. They cheered us and congratulated us and made us feel valued. This feeling is hard to find. The feeling that you belong somewhere, acceptance, love and support. Sometimes it's hard finding it at home as well.
My respect and love for my college has climbed further than the stairway to heaven. I'm proud to be a part of this college and proud of my fellow Xavierites for being such beautiful human beings. It's hard to find a place where people can give so much of support and love irregardless of who you are and what you do.
Thank you all so much. For the first time I smiled at the face of defeat. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't upset at first, but all of you made me feel something that I can't adequately express but I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to convey.
Yours truly,
A Xavierite till the end.
I know you're wondering why I blog at such weird intervals of time. Don't worry, I wasn't off taking another vacation. I just came to a conclusion that I want to blog only if I have a lesson of life to share. I'm not going to write only for the sake of writing or in order to keep my blog alive. It'll live as long as it has too.
I learnt a very important lesson of life last night. I learnt several to be honest. My college participated in the 'Youth Festival'. I don't know the reasons but we didn't win a lot this time. I'm sure it wasn't because of lack of effort or because we didn't perform well.
We were extremely disappointed.
I was extremely disappointed. I participated in an event, and everyone thought I had a fairly decent chance at winning. But I didn't.
At the valedictory, there were a lot of my fellow Xavierites who had participated and several who had come to support us. I was sitting on a chair surrounded by all of them because I was extremely anxious and didn't have the strength to stand. When the result of my event was being announced I had an anxiety attack. By the time the first two winners were announced, the anxiety began growing quicker than a cancerous cell and spread all over. There was just one name left to be announced. I went numb....... Turned out I didn't win after all. My knee stopped shaking as the realization sunk in. There was pin drop silence from my surroundings as all the Xavierites realized that their fellow Xavierite had lost.
The silence lasted all of five seconds. They burst into a loud cheer and started cheering for me. Even as I'm writing this I'm fighting back tears because I'm engulfed by an emotion I can't put into words.
They were cheering and congratulating me and telling me that in their eyes I was a true winner. I sat still for all of five minutes and let the feeling sink. I got up and found my best friend and hugged him tightly. We didn't say anything for we knew it wouldn't make a difference because he knew exactly how I was feeling and how vigorously my mind was churning pessimistic and melancholic thoughts.
Our college kept losing. Out of nineteen events that we participated in, we won only seven. It was a terrible night for us, for this had never happened in the history of Xaviers. But it didn't break our spirit. We kept cheering and celebrating despite the fact that we were feeling miserable on the inside. We had to be strong for everyone. There were several third and fifth year Xavierites who were miserable as it was their last 'Youth Fest'. Despite all of this,we followed a tradition and went back to college and celebrated with our Father Principal and other Fathers. It wasn't the usual spirit, but we tried to keep it as enthusiastic as we could. We went to Havmor for ice-cream following yet another Xavier's tradition.
This was my first 'Youth Fest'. I don't really know my way around it yet or know it's value. But I realized that what Xavierites value more than winning is each other. Even in the face of defeat we kept our spirits up. I'm sure we were extremely upset with the unfairness of it all, but we took a much higher road. People who lose aren't treated the way I and every other participant representing our college was. They cheered us and congratulated us and made us feel valued. This feeling is hard to find. The feeling that you belong somewhere, acceptance, love and support. Sometimes it's hard finding it at home as well.
My respect and love for my college has climbed further than the stairway to heaven. I'm proud to be a part of this college and proud of my fellow Xavierites for being such beautiful human beings. It's hard to find a place where people can give so much of support and love irregardless of who you are and what you do.
Thank you all so much. For the first time I smiled at the face of defeat. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't upset at first, but all of you made me feel something that I can't adequately express but I'm sure you understand what I'm trying to convey.
Yours truly,
A Xavierite till the end.
